


Maveth

by AryaGEN



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 3x10 Speculation, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Possession, Suicidal Thoughts, angst and then fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 01:46:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5356307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AryaGEN/pseuds/AryaGEN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3x10 Speculation - the most powerful Inhuman comes back with them when Fitz, Coulson and Ward return from the other planet. Trigger Warning: Suicidal thoughts. Happy Ending. One-Shot. Quite angsty but did I mention that Happy Ending?<br/>(Thanks for the lovely comments, I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to reply but they mean so much)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maveth

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, trigger warning: suicidal thoughts/intentions.

_I lost you once, I can’t lose you again. I’m just… not strong enough to live in a world that doesn’t have you in it._

 

His words echoed inside her head endlessly as she stared at the circle of stones arranged in a series to open the portal. Her heart had plummeted as he disappeared through the shimmering surface with Ward and the bitter truth of his words hit her – she was currently on a world without Fitz, and every moment he was gone was the worst moment of her life. Even during the coma she had drawn hope from the steady thrum of his heartbeat in her ear, amplified by the life support and tethering them together; that he was out there on a distant star for her again almost broke her. Sometime after the first hour she found herself praying to a God she wasn’t sure she believed in that he’d come home, that he’d come back to her.

 

Almost immediately after he vanished through the portal her legs had given out; the exertion of having to hold herself together in front of him finally taking its toll. Underneath her despair she could feel the distant ache from the torture Ward had inflicted; she guessed between him and the telepath that killed Banks she had four broken ribs, severe abdominal bruising and judging by the way her bound wrists throbbed they were likely fractured as well. She gritted her teeth and grunted, adjusting herself so she could sit against one of the walls and stare at the five miniature Monoliths. The pain she felt paled in comparison to the sheer grief that overtook her as Fitz vanished into the liquid rock; the memory made all the more bitter by the fact that it was in the same room where he had rescued her.

 

She had already lived without Fitz once, with Will, and somewhere even then she had known what they hadn’t wasn’t really life, it was just not dying. She wasn’t lying when she’d told Fitz she loved Will, but she was willing to leave Will behind to die – Fitz couldn’t do that for her and she knew, if it had been the other way around and it was his screams she heard, she would have done the same thing. She had refused to let him go under the ocean, she had chosen him over Will in the storm on the other planet and when he pressed his lips to hers and she kissed back she tasted the ghost of their future in his mouth. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for him and God help them all (if he existed, she thought dryly) there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her. She had already lived without Fitz once and she would never do it again – she wasn’t strong enough either.

 

_I love you._

 

In the twelve hours after the portal closed behind Fitz, the team of HYDRA soldiers and the blur she was pretty sure had been Coulson – though judging by the apparent lack of concern from her captors perhaps it had been her imagination – Simmons had thought the three words over countless times. When Fitz returns, she promised herself, with or without Will she would tell him what she should have said every day for the last ten years, what she was terrified she might lose her chance to say. She focussed so intently on the cemented circle in the middle of the chamber that she didn’t notice her hands be uncuffed so that she could eat, not that she ate anyway. She just couldn’t fathom that Leo Fitz was not living and breathing on this world, and her world had come shattering down without him.

 

It was daylight when the portal opened again and the moment it did chaos broke out all around them. The moment it opened two HYDRA soldiers threw themselves through it, covered in blood and sand and desperately trying to scramble as far away from the centre of the room as possible. Next came Fitz and Ward; the former being dragged quite forcibly and pushed to the ground by an obviously wounded Ward. Last out came Will propped up by a very battered Coulson. All around her was a blur of motion – Gideon gave orders to power down the portal, Will started gasping and flinching at the sunlight above them and Coulson – safely through the still open portal – lunged at Ward, knocking him to the ground and punching at the dark red patch in Ward’s stomach. The remaining HYDRA operatives in the room started pulling people away from the edge of the portal; it took two of them to carry Will and four more to break up the violent struggle between Coulson and Ward.

 

Jemma had tried to get to Fitz as soon as he’d come through but was pulled back by one of Gideon’s henchmen; the pressure of being restrained on her abused body making her double over in pain. When she finally recovered enough to spot Fitz again she saw him back on his feet after his painful landing and watched in terror as the man she loved used the distraction that Coulson and Ward had provided to pick up a gun kicked his way in their fight. The scientist, not looking at her, deftly clicked the safety off and pressed the barrel of the gun to his own temple. Even over the sounds in the room she was certain she heard him shout out, “I’m sorry Jemma.”

 

“Fitz!” She screamed so loudly she felt her voice break when she realised what he was going to do. “Fitz, no!”

 

In spite of everything he turned to look at her and at the sight of him she found herself wishing he hadn’t. There was something wrong with his eyes, they were as much his as they were someone… some _thing_ else’s. The warmth and love she usually felt under his gaze was masked by that chilling presence she had felt on the other planet – the unbridled predatory evil that hunted her and Will – it was here with them, in Fitz. He was at once the man she loved and the monster she had spent six months terrified of on another planet, his entire body trembled as he clearly fought to keep control of his actions. He was covered in blood, she noted as she looked anywhere but those pleading, murderous eyes, he was covered in too much blood. He was at once the deer in headlights and the hunter and even as he stared at her heartbroken and in obvious pain she felt him slipping away.

 

Gideon sprang into action before she could, ordering his men to get the firearm away from the half-possessed Fitz. If any part of her had doubted what had befallen him on the planet it was dispelled the moment Fitz pushed one of the soldiers away from him with so much force that the wall broke when they hit it. A deep pulse from Fitz plunged the room into silence as the remaining HYDRA agents backed away from the shadow of the man she loved in sheer panic. Dark blood oozed from the body of the soldier he had smashed against the wall and Fitz himself now stood eyes shut and eerily still as the gun rested against his thigh. Jemma’s stomach plummeted when she saw that unlike usual, his hand was not shaking. Despite how desperately she wanted to hold him, to speak with him, to beg Fitz to stay with her and banish whatever it was that was happening she was rooted to the spot as though merely a passive observer unable to process what she was witnessing. It was Ward who broke the first silence, cradling a wound in his stomach and taking a step towards the man she knew so well.

 

“Fitz?” Ward asked cautiously but no sooner had he said the word than another pulse emitted from the scientist, throwing Ward backwards and into one of the newly installed computer towers with a sickening crack. The joy she should have felt at the sight was overcome by the fear she had for what was happening to Fitz.

 

Broken from her paralysis she rose shakily to her feet, the agent that had held her down made no effort to restrain her as she stepped towards the only person in the world she couldn’t live without. Her eyes trailed up from the reflection of him in the liquid surface of the portal but he spoke before she could. “Get away from me!” Fitz spat out, his voice was rough and low and in clear pain. He still had his eyes shut but the gun now trembled in his hand.

 

“Leo?” She said, surprising herself that she managed to keep the despair from her voice.

 

Using his first name had the desired effect and he turned to look at her in surprise, his expression was haunted but still caring making her blood run hot and cold at the same time. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to run to him or away from him but forced herself to meet his eyes – if he needed something to tether himself to then she’d give it to him.

 

“I’m sorry Jemma.” he said in a low whine and shuddered slightly – even after he awoke from his coma he had never seemed more lost or weakened than he did in that moment.

 

“Hold on Fitz, hey… hold on,” Jemma pleaded as she saw his brow furrow and jaw clench. Nobody in the chamber interrupted them – Coulson and Gideon watched on at the turn of events leaving the two scientists to their conversation as though they were the only ones there.

 

“I’m tired Simmons,” He said, slouching slightly and she watched as his eyelids drooped involuntarily. For a split second he looked at her with confusion as though he couldn’t quite remember who she was and she couldn’t stifle the sob she let out in response.

 

“Stay with me Fitz, stay awake – you’ve got to stay awake,” her voice was soft, reassuring as she pushed away the fight or flight instinct that being near him seemed to rouse in her.

 

“Like our…” He began before stopping suddenly and looking at her impassively; it lasted for only a moment but the adoration and fear she had seen in him had vanished as he watched her with disinterest. Trembling again as though recovering from a seizure he finished quietly, “projects.” She guessed he was thinking about the many all-nighters they’d had to pull at Sci-Ops together, each trying to keep the other awake.

 

“Yes Fitz, just like our projects.” She said and his lips twitched up at her words. He paused to look at her properly, taking her in and she had almost let herself believe he was fine as he let out a deep groan and leant against the nearest wall for support.

 

“Simmons.” He grunted and the strain in his voice that was somehow worse than the tiredness. His entire body was tensed and wracked with concentration as he pressed his forehead against the stone so hard she could see a trickle of blood spring out and work its way past his brow. “I don’t… I can’t…” His quiet mumbling echoed loudly in the silent room.

 

“Fitz… Fitz, are you still with me?” She asked in little more than a whisper, afraid to hear his answer. She took a step towards him until the open portal was the only thing between them.

 

“I’m here,” he groaned with exertion and turned to face her, head still leant against the rock as though trying to back away. He swallowed nervously and she could see the hot streams of tears in her own eyes reflected in his, summoning himself to full height and drawing every last ounce of strength he had in him he rushed out what she had no doubt he thought of as his final words, “I love you Jemma, I’ve always loved you. I’m so sorry… I love you.”

 

“I love you too Fitz,” she said back instantly and his face lit up into a pained grin. “I love you so much… Keep fighting it Fitz…”

 

Fitz shook his head almost imperceptibly and she knew he couldn’t hang on much longer, the monster that had whipped up storms of sand was consuming him and she marvelled even in the eleventh hour at the strength he possessed to hold on this long. He looked over her shoulder to Will and said with a mixture of pride and resignation, “I got him back.”

 

“Yes Fitz,” She answered, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks, “Yes you did.”

 

“Be happy,” he murmured as his head drooped and knees gave way, collapsing into a heap by the edge of the portal.

 

“Not without you.” She sobbed as he lifted the gun back up to his temple.

 

“Don’t look Jem… I don’t… You shouldn’t see…” He trailed off and the physical pain she had felt from her torture seemed like nothing in comparison to the agony she was in now. It took everything she had to tear her gaze from him and look down at the shimmering surface of the portal instead, she didn’t know when it had happened but she’d fallen to her knees again.

 

“I love you,” she said, her voice breaking into sobs.

 

For a brief moment there was silence as she screwed her eyes shut before she heard the sound of a click, and then nothing. There was no bang. She looked towards him and saw desperation and fear across his face as he pulled the trigger again and the hollow click echoed around the room. Her relief faded as his eyes became glassy and unfocussed and the gun dropped idly from his hands, he hadn’t chambered a round. His skin took on a paler hue and the air around him seemed to get thicker as he violently shook for what felt like the longest time before snapping his eyes wide open again, only Fitz was gone. He was a shell and the thing that stared back at her she knew was pure evil.

 

They both rose to their feet opposite one another as the thing that was not Fitz judged her, taking in her appearance and seeming to stare right through her. It was almost unbearable to watch the face that she had grown to love, who had looked on her with such longing and love for so many years but now looked as though she meant nothing. The expression he bore resembled playful curiosity in stark contrast to her own grief stricken state.

 

“Give him back.” She commanded; her words icy and forceful.

 

The possessor of Fitz let out a harsh laugh; a laugh Fitz would never have laughed and turned to face the others in the room – Gideon, Coulson and the now conscious Ward amongst them. There was no way out of this that she could see – she didn’t want to live in a world without Fitz anymore and this, _thing_ , her tormentor had taken everything that mattered from her. In an odd way it gave her a sense of ease – what happened next was somehow not important, she wasn’t fighting for a future anymore. She turned to look at Will who was shivering quite fiercely from the sudden increase in oxygen and light, he stared at her and seemed to understand what was about to happen, giving a slight nod.

 

As she stepped onto the ledge of the portal she did the only thing she could think to do – what Fitz had done for her twice – and she prayed it would be enough. “Fitz!” She called out loudly and watched as the monster that was not Fitz spun to regard her with mirth. A moment later she stepped into the portal and returned to the planet she’d hoped never to see again. She screamed as she hit the ground, her broken ribs protesting at the sudden contact and she felt the strength leave her as she counted the passing seconds. She braced herself for the chance that her plan hadn’t worked, for the hundred hours before she died of dehydration – she idly wondered if she’d even bother to search for water this time or just wait here, she guessed if she got bored she could mark out her own Tombstone… _Jemma Fitzsimmons…_ She thought to herself… _til death do we part…_

She was interrupted by the sound of the portal activating behind her and wheeled round to see Fitz come crashing through a few feet away. He turned to look at her and beamed, Fitz’s broad smile illuminating her heart better than daylight ever could. The evil presence was gone.

 

“You are a bloody genius.” He grinned at her and then grabbed her hand to pull on her feet before shouting, “Quickly!” and running them both towards the portal that was still held open at the other end.

 

Before they were able to jump it activated again and they froze when they saw Grant Ward slump in front of them, dark blood bubbling up from a gunshot wound just above his bullet proof vest. As the two of them passed his flailing form she barely had a chance to take in the success of her mad plan before they were hurtling back into the castle to the sounds of gunfire. The portal was closed moments after they landed leaving Ward trapped in the other world and the two scientists clinging to each other for the second time in the centre of the chamber. She lost count of how many times she told him she loved him, and how many times he said it back.

 

** Epilogue **

“Jumping into the portal was completely irresponsible, what were you thinking? If your gamble backfired we’d have lost you and Fitz and been utterly unable to stop whatever that thing was.” Coulson yelled at her aboard Zephyr 1 in front of a very shaken Fitz and the rest of the team. “How did you know it’d work?”

 

“I didn’t.” She admitted and looked straight at Fitz who was gripping her hand like a lifeline, the terror of having been possessed by the most powerful Inhuman only having set in after their return, “But I hoped it would. He tried to jump off the BUS after me, he gave me our oxygen, he threw himself at the Monolith without knowing it was a portal and then crossed over without knowing if he could breathe or if I was even alive.” She smiled at Fitz and squeezed his hand, “Saving me, besides being incredibly stupid, is what Fitz does… I hoped that if he saw me fall through the portal again he’d be able to regain control and jump after me, the Inhuman, whatever it was, would find another host to try and avoid returning to its exile on the other planet.”

 

Coulson considered what she said carefully before asking, “But how did you know it would choose Ward?”

 

“Again, I didn’t.” She said sheepishly, “I figured after the trouble it seemed to have controlling Fitz Ward was the obvious target – he was still dazed and hurt so wouldn’t have offered as much resistance as anybody else – but honestly, I just wanted Fitz back. It could’ve been a one way trip for one or both of us; I could have ended up stuck on that planet with the Inhuman. I wish I could take credit for the way it all turned out, but I was only thinking about Fitz.” She squeezed Fitz's hand and addressed him, “I love you so much.”

 

He shot a nervous grin and said “I love you too,” huddling up closer to her and the sudden trading of kisses gave the assembled agents an unofficial announcement that the debriefing session was over. Mack and Daisy left smiling, the two of them bumping fists on the way out, Coulson left quite awkwardly – unhappy that his junior agents had effectively ignored him to begin kissing, May left stoic as ever though with a slight upward tilt to her lips and Bobbi shot them both a wink before going to find Hunter.

 

When Fitz finally pulled away for air he said, “You and me… on that planet, we could’ve been stuck there forever.”

 

Jemma pushed her forehead against his, “I know.”

 

“And you… you would’ve been happy with that?” He asked, evidently moved by what she had been prepared to do for him, “Back there…”

 

“Well maybe not _happy,”_ she teased him, giving a quick chaste kiss, “But I would choose any world that has you on it, always... and I don't think it would have been so bad there really, with you there too.”

 

“You’re incredible Jem.” He said, looking at her in the way that made her overflow with joy, “What happens now?”

 

“Now,” She said seductively, pressing her hand against his leg and enjoying his slight gasp at the contact, “Now… we get to medical, I’m in agony and the morphine Bobbi gave me is wearing off.”

 

“Medical? That’s good,” He laughed, “Because I’ve got a terrible bloody headache.”

 

_I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> So if you've read anything else I've written you'll know I recently lost a friend; this was basically me working out some of those feelings and since I don't want to write up any of my unfinished stories while I'm in this state, sitting down to do a one shot helped. I hope you enjoyed this, let me know what you think - it's so fantastic to read people's thoughts and feedback and really helps in the writing process (plus, you know, it'll make my day - and my days haven't been particularly good of late.)  
> It occurs to me now (having finished writing) that I basically wrote the first part of the Fred/Wesley storyline from Angel S5... Whedon's done that once, let's hope he doesn't do it again here but I just figured with that whole "Come back to me but don't bring it back" thing this was a possibility.  
> Thanks everybody.


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